(V)ictory Over the “What If’s”
Nothing stays the same. Change happens every moment and we just hope it doesn’t happen every moment to us. What can we do to put ourselves in the forefront of change and manage it properly? Ultimately, that’s up to us how we react and take action.
We can easily come down with a bad case of the “What If’s”. What if it’s worse than they’re telling me? What if I lose my job? What if he/she won’t forgive me? You get the picture because we’ve all been there done that and possibly as early as today.
Here are some tips to get us through those time to the other side which is call “Knowledge and Action”.
- Know the theory of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy also known as You Get What You Expect. Expect bad and negative and, bingo, it magically appears. Expect positive and great things and slowly it will come to you. The key is that you need to be watching for it.
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Talk to yourself with more Positive Self talk vs. Negative Self Talk
- Visualize the positive. Stop dwelling on the “what if’s”. Most won’t come true.
- Attack the problem head on. Without some movement towards a solution, the problem still exists for days, weeks, months at a time.
- Be open minded. Resist using past experience to judge the future.
- Don’t dwell on the past. That’s why it’s the past. Learn from it and make leaps toward growing yourself out of the situation.
- Don’t view life as an all or nothing proposition. Failure stems from this thinking patten. One thing may be wrong but not everything.
- Don’t’ take rejection personally. It’s just not the right fit, right job, right moment, right person, etc… Your unique and the right fit will uniquely fit you.
- Avoid mind reading. Speak up and ask in a respectful manner. We need facts not fiction to get through change.
With the New Year right around the corner, we should make a decision to stop living in the house of “What If’’s” and move to the house of Possibility and Action. Possibility and action lead to solutions, growth and strength in us and transcends to others around us.
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
All rights reserved © 2009 Sandra Larkin Wellness Strategies, LLC
November 17th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, change, communication, emotional, intellectual, productivity | | 0 Comments
(P)erspectives Of Change
Here we go again… CHANGE. Some of us embrace it. Others, loath it. Even the written word can generate these feelings. Such as “Make Different:, “Replace”, “Shift”, “Exchange”, “Transform”, “Modify”, “Alter”, “Vary”, “Switch”, “and Transfer”. Each word generates a unique personal comfort level based on past experience. We must learn to manage through the path of change so most of these words generate a consistent comfort level.
#1 Stay Focused On The Final Outcome
- Acknowledge the situation for the facts. Try hard not to manufacture interpretations of what could or should be. Stay on point and take “getting personal” out of even “personal situations”. This requires you to remove your view to a 30,000 foot level.
- Define how it affects your ultimate goal. Changing times require a look at your target also known as your goal. How does this change effect where I want to go, the resources I need to get there and my ultimate time table.
- Slow down to find a workable solution. Life is not a race. It’s a process. The same goes for your career, relationships and even health. Start brain dumping.
#2 Be Proactive
- Realize you have limited knowledge when it comes to some changes.
- Seek the perspective of others to encourage creative solution. We don’t know it all and are not expected to. People love to create and design solutions especially when it’s not involving them directly in the issue. Who can you bounce off an idea or potential solution to?
- Broaden your “advisory council” by finding people who have been in similar situations. Others have had similar experiences that can be tapped into. In addition, others have resources they can put you in touch with.
#3 Prepare For Confusion
- Realize you cannot plan for every contingency. Be flexible to put aside any feelings of failure to work through the issue.
- Stay positive and put away emotions. It doesn’t help the situation to cry, whine, shout, or get angry. In a nutshell, a positive outlook will enlist a host of creative solutions. A negative outlook locks down your creativity and results.
- Look long term beyond the challenge. A bad day does not mean your having a bad life. So, a bump in road or change in direction doesn’t mean you will not obtain your long term goal or effort.
#4 Be Courageously Creative
- Brainstorm all ideas and pathways. Bits and pieces make up one or more workable solutions. Brain dump.
- You don’t need steps 1-100 to begin. You don’t need all the steps defines and in place to take the first step. A lot of times, the first step leads to the next 10. Humans don’t come with a crystal ball to see the correct path or step. So be courageous.
- Update your strategy as you move along a new direction. Be flexible to change paths always keeping in mind your long term reward. Integrate new ideas or resources for creative solutions.
- Involve others in the process. To go it alone is to own all the responsibility for the success and failure. Involves others to help forge new pathways and share in your success.
- Stay motivated by knowing that tackling change provides you with enormous life values. You benefit by tackling new demons and have the experience to help others through the same or similar process.
Final Steps
Continually share your knowledge and experiences so you and others can grow personally and professionally. Change is a great teacher for the present and future. Use him wisely.
August 11th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, change, intellectual, occupational | | 0 Comments
(O)pportunities: Destination Unknown
Each of us carries our own personal definition of opportunity based on past experience. To some, the definition may be centered on growth while others may view opportunity as a means of fear and resistance to change.
August 11th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, Uncategorized, attitude, change, emotional, habits | | 2 Comments
(J)ustifying Our Measuring Stick
Where you ever in a conversation where you didn’t totally agree with someone. Your kinda looking at them sideways trying to understand their point of view but are not quite getting it. This happen to me recently. Jim was telling me how he “coached” a co-worker into looking at their own personal measuring stick to measure results.
Jim was approached by a co-worker, Kevin, and given a great compliment. Basically, that the job he was doing was “great” and that Kevin could never measure up to the work ethic or results of Jim on this particular project. Jim commented that we have our own personal measuring sticks on how we measure results. Kevin should use his own measuring stick to find his own “job well done”.
I agreed with Jim on using his own personal measuring stick. The first person we need to please is ourselves. That’s what produces our self confidence for the future. In contrast, our measuring stick is made up of many inches.
- Inch one -past personal and professional experiences
- Inch two -family upbringing
- Inch three -work ethic
- Inch four - failures in life and business
- Inch five - successes
- and … so on
But ….. what if …. our personal measuring stick is too low and we use this as a way to quit, avoid and not strive for success.
Joining my own thoughts to Jim’s would look like this.
We have our own personal measuring sticks on how we measure results. We should visualize a measuring stick that is much longer. Those inches should reflect a variety of expectations
- what is required to complete the job
- how my management team will measure me on a “job well done”
- how does this fit into my personal and professional development plan
- the areas of growth I need to be successful
- s-t-r-e-a-t-c-h-i-n-g and g-r-o-w-i-n-g even though it’s uncomfortable
When we stop striving we settle. Right now in history, we have tremendous opportunities. Regardless of the economy or our financial status, we can continue to stretch ourselves to prepare for a greater future. Our measuring stick should be growing by yards as our experiences and development increase. We are forging the inches on this stick to be even better for future opportunities.
Keep adding inches to your personal measuring stick. To stop striving is settling. Status quo may not always be the way to go.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
September 16th, 2008 - Posted in ABC's, Uncategorized, attitude, change, intellectual, occupational, performance, productivity | | 1 Comments
(H)abits - The Good, the Bad and the Better
Did you ever say or hear someone say “Hey, that’s just a habit I have.” Normally this is an excuse for our behavior that someone noticed and pitched a hissy fit. Otherwise, we probably would have gotten away with it because it goes un-noticed by us. Each of us determines our own habits. Yet other people use their own measuring stick to “call us out”.
If we look at it from the flip side, habits can also be positive and can dramatically impact our health and well being. They also affect how other people see us which leads them into a our healthy behaviors.
For example,
- brushing and flossing our teeth before we go to bed
- eating 5 fruits and vegetables a day
- taking vitamins
- deliberately taking time to relax and/or meditate
- going to church
- cleaning up our desk at the end of the day
- planning a to-do list
- scheduling preventive screening appointments
- reading one book per month
- returning phone calls and answering emails
- exercising at least 3 times per week
- being on time
- going to the dentist twice a year
- drinking 6-8 glasses of water per day
- being positive and friendly
- balancing our checkbook
- paying our bills on time
- journaling
- taking a nap on the weekend
- getting to bed around the same time each night
If we incorporate one good habit each month, we would have changed 12 behaviors towards health and wellness in one year.
Action Plan
- Make a list of less than desirable habits and another list of habits you would like to adopt over the next 12 months. Use the list above to jog your memory.
- Rank the healthy habits in order.
- From your top 5 new habits, which ones can you move on quickly and which require other people, resources or sometimes money.
- Begin and chart your progress on a blank calendar.
- At the end of the first month, look at your progress and see how far you reached.
- Begin another healthy habit at month two.
The word “habit” gets a bad rap. When we combine the habit with something that is good FOR us then we are on the road to being
- healthy physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and occupationally
- a mentor and role model for others to start and succeed at change
- positive and energetic
- someone that everyone WANTS to be around
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
September 4th, 2008 - Posted in ABC's, change, habits, health, intellectual, occupational, physical | | 0 Comments
Change Is In The Air
Everyday we work in a transitional state towards a new direction or from a current challenge. This can be transitioning from being ill to well, career change, stress on the job, marital status such as divorce or business growth and development. The way in which we approach these transitions is through flexibility.
Flexibility determines successful results for the long term and produces attraction for more positive ones in the future. When we are flexible in attitude, we set ourselves up for a long term positive impact on our working relationships as well as promotional goals. No one wants to work with a person who digs their heels in and refuses to work out project or people difficulities.
I have been through a number of transitions over the past two years. I resigned a long term position and gave up a 20 year corporate career, created a successful business, right-sized my health by participating in a physical fitness boot camp and worked through the rough spots on discovering who I am and where I want to be. This process has taught me that I needed to stop making decisions based on what my preset boundaries where at the time. I learned to physically stop, plant my feet firmly, look at the opportunity, evaluate it with a new set of eyes and sometimes take a chance by risking the outcome.
If you watch a willow tree in a storm or when high winds blow, you will see that it remains flexible to move through its current chaotic state. When the wind blows, it moves in the same direction of the wind ultimately standing up right when the storm passes. Nature has its way of teaching us to move through these transitional periods of our life. Technically, they come and go with little negative impact we somehow seem to manifest in our own minds.
The next time a storm moves in where you live, take a look outside and watch nature move through the transition from sun to dark and back to sun again. You will see that nature remains consistent with its ability to weather the storm.
As we move through the many phases of our life, look to nature to teach you that you can make good and sound decisions by remaining flexible, moving beyond your comfort zone and sometimes just taking a chance. You have everything it takes to make the wrong right and the positive even better consistently.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
January 5th, 2008 - Posted in Professional Education, change, emotional, occupational, productivity | | 1 Comments
Starting Over
January 2nd is a depressing day for some people as they head back to work after a l-o-n-g holiday vacation. We return to possibly hundreds of emails trying to get into the swing of things with people and projects. Unless we have made a “to do” list before we left, it can be a confusing and daunting task trying to “find ourselves” back at the ranch. We belly up to the bar for a stiff drink of time management as the new year rings in new goals for the company and ourselves. But herein lies the opportunity to start over.
What are we going to do differently than we did last year? How can we infuse a wellness activity into our busy day to make it our own and make a difference?
Move away from the desk - One suggestions is to get away from your desk at lunch at least 3 times per week. Daily is best but for some of us it’s hard to break the habit or addiction of eating and working at the same time. Can we really digest nutritious food that our body needs to live by and be under pressure of a deadline at the same time? My personal answer is NO since I experienced a number of health related issues by doing just that.
The lunch hour is a great time to build relationships in the workplace. How so? I know a women who would intentionally gets to know her peers during this one hour period each day. It’s funny how she is chosen to be on the hottest projects or ask her professional opinion on company related ventures. She made it a point to be interested in other people. She gained the trust and loyalty of her peers to move on to bigger and better professional projects. Hummm….all of this during lunch.
Use the lunch our to start over again and again. You’ll not only gain personal health satisfaction but possibly a better professional standing.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
January 3rd, 2008 - Posted in change | | 1 Comments
