(W)inning the Game of Stress
Stress. Who hasn’t felt it on a daily basis. There is so much going on in each of our lives it becomes overwhelming to think about adding more to our plate. Some of our lives are upside down and spinning out of control. “The Inner Game of Stress” (W. Timothy Gallwey, Edwards S. Hanzelik, M.D. and John Horton, M.D.) explains that chronic stress ” …is caused largely by the way people perceived the events and circumstances of their lives-and not the realities themselves.” Perception is reality. Change the perception and change your stress level.
The big misnomer is that stress happens to us and not something we cannot control. It’s the way in which we internalize and handle events and activities that causing stressful feelings. Do you have control over stress to some degree? Absolutely, 100 %, yes.
Honestly ask yourself these questions to gain an understanding on where you can begin to decrease your stress levels.
- What outcomes or people am I trying to control for my own personal gain or benefit?
- What is controlling me that I could or should be saying “no” to? Will people still “like” me? Yes!
- What are unproductive thoughts of situations, events or “what if’s” that probably won’t come true?
- What are external conflicts that I play over and over in my head or continue to tell others about which revives these feelings?
- What am I yearning for that is causing me to stall my future?
- In my personal circle, who am I associating with that is devaluating me and my future?
- What types of time management tools am I utlitizing to protect myself against time stealers?
- Do I have goals for the future and have a way to reach out to others in the community to help me?
Once we have clarity around these questions we can begin to control our perception of the external factors of our lives. We begin to establish new thought patterns and ways to set boundaries around our priorities in a way which still maintains positive relationships. We look for tools that can help us maintain control.
The only person we have control over is ourselves and what situations we allow ourselves to be in. In addition, we control our attitude and feelings towards others as well as thoughts of the future. Make your perception a positive move towards your priorities. You’ll feel more in control and perceive events and people with less stress. I highly recommend ….
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
June 11th, 2010 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, habits, health, stress, workplace wellness | | 0 Comments
(V)ictory Over the “What If’s”
Nothing stays the same. Change happens every moment and we just hope it doesn’t happen every moment to us. What can we do to put ourselves in the forefront of change and manage it properly? Ultimately, that’s up to us how we react and take action.
We can easily come down with a bad case of the “What If’s”. What if it’s worse than they’re telling me? What if I lose my job? What if he/she won’t forgive me? You get the picture because we’ve all been there done that and possibly as early as today.
Here are some tips to get us through those time to the other side which is call “Knowledge and Action”.
- Know the theory of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy also known as You Get What You Expect. Expect bad and negative and, bingo, it magically appears. Expect positive and great things and slowly it will come to you. The key is that you need to be watching for it.
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Talk to yourself with more Positive Self talk vs. Negative Self Talk
- Visualize the positive. Stop dwelling on the “what if’s”. Most won’t come true.
- Attack the problem head on. Without some movement towards a solution, the problem still exists for days, weeks, months at a time.
- Be open minded. Resist using past experience to judge the future.
- Don’t dwell on the past. That’s why it’s the past. Learn from it and make leaps toward growing yourself out of the situation.
- Don’t view life as an all or nothing proposition. Failure stems from this thinking patten. One thing may be wrong but not everything.
- Don’t’ take rejection personally. It’s just not the right fit, right job, right moment, right person, etc… Your unique and the right fit will uniquely fit you.
- Avoid mind reading. Speak up and ask in a respectful manner. We need facts not fiction to get through change.
With the New Year right around the corner, we should make a decision to stop living in the house of “What If’’s” and move to the house of Possibility and Action. Possibility and action lead to solutions, growth and strength in us and transcends to others around us.
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
All rights reserved © 2009 Sandra Larkin Wellness Strategies, LLC
November 17th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, change, communication, emotional, intellectual, productivity | | 0 Comments
(U)niversal Things I Recommend
I’ve been getting alot of questions about what I recommend for wellness or just life in general. Like Oprah, here are a few of my favorites things ….
“Healthy Profits: The 5 Elements of Strategic Wellness”by Sandra Larkin and 30 Additional Authors
GREAT resource for individuals to put together a wellness action plan in these five areas simultaneously (physical, emotional, social, intellectual, occupational). Includes assessments and sample plans along with advice from 30 wellness professionals. Also, can be used as a corporate small group plan or given to corporate employees to aid with the new Healthcare Reform which includes workplace wellness. See www.healthyprofitsbook.com
You On A Diet”by Dr. Michael F. Roizen, and Dr. Mehmet C. Oz
Best book I’ve read for telling exactly what goes on in the body and how to move toward positive health.
“Eat This Not That”by David Zinczenko
You see and read about your favorite foods to make better choices. Yum and Yuck all at the same time.
Costco
I LOVE Costco’s organic fruit and vegetables. You don’t have to think about what to buy. Just roll up and LOAD UP!
Prevention Magazine
Best magazine for all around health and wellness along with tips and ways to make wellness stick.
Exercise TV
If you own cable, this is FREE. There are 10 minute to 1 hour exercise videos with variety. I love this! No excuses for lack of time.
Nintendo Wii and Wii Fit
Creative ways to stimulate the mind and body. Can include “teams” of people for a team challenge. Yes!
Silk Soy Milk
I use to turn my nose up at soy milk until I tasted it. This is really good and it’s good for you. I drink about three 8 oz glasses a day. Dairy doesn’t like me so it’s a good move towards health.
Guidepost
The articles are motivating and inspiring. We all need a little of that right about now.
Keeping a food journal.
Yes, this is work AND you will see what you are doing right and where there are gaps to improve. This was very telling for me because I was NOT getting enough calories each day. That’s why I was not losing weight. I would not have known that unless I kept the food journal.
Keeping a time log.
More gunts and groans AND it will help you manage your time and set those needed boundaries. People will steal your time. Don’t let them.
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
www.sandralarkin.com
www.healthyprofitsbook.com
All rights reserved. Content © 2009 Sandra Larkin Wellness Strategies, LLC
November 1st, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, emotional, health, intellectual, occupational, physical, social, time management | | 1 Comments
(Q)uit Living With Two Thieves
Have you been living with two thieves? How can that be? I don’t see or hear them but they plague us day after day. The two thieves are Regret and Worry. Regretting decisions from our past that we think may have turned out better. Worrying that an unknown consequence awaits us in the present or future.
We need to lasso these thieves by answering this question “Will we choose to live in yesterday or today?” It’s a deliberate decision not to let past experiences or uncontrollable situations steal our joy or our future. When we begin to emotionally multi task we live in the past and disregard that which is right in front of us (today) and that which we can control (future). When we emotionally multi task we tend to live in the past, present and future all at the same time. We need to live in the moment, right now, while not regretting the past and not worrying about the future.
Think of this …We live in the best time in history with our advanced technology in medicine and personal conveniences. Our society is educationally focused on health and well being. We live in a free nation with liberty and personal rights. Each one of us has health to some degree. Even if we lose everything, someone somewhere loves us and will help us get back on our feet.
A Quick Cheat Sheet
- Don’t worry about yesterday live for today.
- Emotional multi tasking lives for the future.
- Don’t let others steal your joy.
- We always think we have tomorrow. Do we?
- You can always make more money but cannot buy back time.
- Life is not a dress rehearsal. We don’t get another performance.
August 12th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, emotional, habits, intellectual, occupational | | 0 Comments
(O)pportunities: Destination Unknown
Each of us carries our own personal definition of opportunity based on past experience. To some, the definition may be centered on growth while others may view opportunity as a means of fear and resistance to change.
August 11th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, Uncategorized, attitude, change, emotional, habits | | 2 Comments
(N)ever Giving Up
Seasons of the year. Some we love, some we wish away and some we embrace with a “get through it” attitude. The seasons of life can be compared to the changing seasons of the year. We enter into birth (spring) with growth and pushing through the challenges. Then onto being a child (summer) with fun and exploration. Next, is adulthood (fall), with the changing colors of careers, perspectives’ and continual daily activity. Finally, winter (retirement), where we settle down but not necessarily settle in and embrace and participate in the new seasons of those around us.
What about the seasons of our daily lives? From job loss to finding another job that’s a better fit for our talent, losing a coveted project to gaining a promotion, losing weight to gaining strength and flexibility and losing a battle in the workplace to gain respect and credibility in how we handled it.
No matter where we are, embracing the season is key to finding opportunity and leaving your mark on the past. Understand that what appears to be negative can really be a defining moment to change into the next season with positive expectation and exploration. Watching nature change through the seasons gives us a plan on how to adjust to our own. Nature gently embraces it’s future letting go of the past. For example, fall leaves turn from green to an extraordinary display of color as it gently moves into colder weather. We too can gently embrace our daily change with a color of positive expectation and exploration. Make this your season of doing the unexpected and embrace the season with a attitude of growth and opportunity.
August 6th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, intellectual, productivity | | 0 Comments
(M)otivation: Cure or Curse
All of us have either set a goal or seen a speaker that has inspired us to change behavior or reach new levels. We begin the new journey with positive thoughts and actions along with a vision of what it will look like on the other end. Some of us get stimulated to work through the challenges. While others defuse or deflate when life places a boulder in our road to success.
Motivation can be a cure if we are willing to layout a plan and commit to win regardless of what it takes to reap the rewards. For example, a marathon runner doesn’t show up on race day and begin the 26.2 mile run. They prepare for at least six months with a consistent plan of action. During that time, there are challenges in the form of weather, potential injury, tiredness, and time constraints. By placing their foot on the track at race day, they’ve already reached the finish line due to their motivation to stick it out and see it through.
On the other hand, motivation can be a curse if we have set high expectations with an inappropriate time frame. For example, we start training for the marathon two months prior to race day. We also risk lowering our self esteem and the “stick to it” glue to reach lofty goals and self transformation.
Use motivation as a tool to help stay the course realizing there is no magic pill for success. Motivation is ultimately INTERNAL, meaning we are the drivers for success. Motivation that’s EXTERNAL, as in other peoples needs and wishes, has a high probability for failure. Choose your correct motivation and reach for the stars.
August 3rd, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, habits, intellectual, performance, productivity | | 0 Comments
(K)now The 5 Areas of Beautiful Strength
I walked into a national sporting goods store and saw a Nike tee shirt with the phase “Strong is the new beautiful”. Up until then, I never thought about beauty or health in that way. With so much media attention paid to an “image” of beauty, we sometimes lose focus on what beauty and strength can be in other life areas. This also apples to men as beauty and health are gaining a greater focus on their side of the fence.
I stopped to think about if I was developing strength in the five areas of strategic wellness: physical, emotional, intellectual, social and occupational. Where is my strength in each area? Am I working towards strength? If not, let’s get to the big WHY?
- Are my muscles strong to lift and bend? Are they lean and flexible? Can I stretch and just plain move?
- Have I dusted out the cobwebs of any emotional issues or pain and begin to heal the past hurts?
- Am I doing enough to educate myself by attending free webinar’s, reading, blogging, joining online user groups for support and inspiration and attending professional development classes?
- Then there’s the social aspect with community, friends and family. Have I been reaching out, going out and or just plain being out? With the busyness of the past few months, we tend to hunker in for the long winter.
- Finally, am I planning on reaching my full occupational potential? If yes, what plans do I have to increase my value as an employee and reach new heights in my career?
Our hearts desire can be strong. Each of us will ask our own strength questions to see how heart healthy we’ve become. Beauty follows with confidence, joy, youthful expression and a positive attitude of wealth and happiness.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
April 22nd, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, Uncategorized, attitude, emotional, health, intellectual, occupational, physical, social | | 0 Comments
(B)usy Is Not Always Productive
Do you work with people who are completely exasberated. They are so busy they didn’t have time to take a lunch. When approached, their desk looks like Fort Knox with piles of paper and books, their face glowing red as they talk on the phone, instant message and write frantically on tablet paper. At the end of the day, where did the time go since what they accomplished was not productive. They retire to sleep for the next day only to find that their mind is swimming with the to do list that was never accomplished. Then awake to a headache and a body that feels like they had a date with a Mac truck.
Sound familiar. We’ve all been there and done that. The physical results are headache, migraines, increased blood pressure and stress hormones as well as insomnia wrapped up in a to do list a mile long. Is this busyness healthy? Is it productive in the long term?
Some organizations breed this type of busyness into their culture. “That’s just the way we do it around here”. On the flip side, we are responsible for bringing it onto ourselves. At the workplace, time is of the essence. As we are ask to do more and more each day to achieve personal and professional goals, we don’t have time to waste.
Below is a partial list of what we can be doing to improve our mental and physical workplace wellness state. The list also includes the famous WIIF (what’s in it for me). Read on.
- I set specific “next day goals” at the end of each day (phone calls, meetings, followup, desk-time, etc.)
- Setting goals for the next day clears our mind of all that happened today, allows us to move forward daily to monthly/quarterly/yearly goals and sets us up for a running start when we return the next morning.
- I have an easy filing system so that I don’t waste time looking for things.
- Easy is the key. Folders that indicate the content and its use all within easy reach.
- I have a level of calmness when approaching a task, meeting or person.
- Productive people tend to approach an event with calmness as if it was the only thing they were doing. This helps them keep their focus and organization skills at a high level without a rushed or angry feeling.
- I use effective time management techniques to block out time or batch similar tasks.
- Developing time management skills keeps our focus and limits the distractions we are willing to allow into our day.
- I evaluate non-managerial request for my time in the form of formal, desk and conference call meetings as well as additional job responsibilities. If they do not fit into my overall goal for my position, department and company, I kindly decline.
- Some of our co-workers have a habit of wanting our time in workplace events that have little or nothing to do with our job accomplishments. Set boundaries you are willing to stick to. Then list your job responsibilities and know what is important to get the job done. Afterall, that’s the job we are being paid for. Everything else needs to be evaluated against this list for productivity and time constraints.
- I have a “perfectionist percentage” I am willing to be satisfied with. Instead of 100% this level allows me still to feel accomplished and productive.
- Alot of us have a perfectionist streak when it comes to our job responsiblitiles. If it can’t be done at 100%, then we feel that we have failed in someway. Productive people want to strive for 100% but have an alternate percentage so their focus and professional selfworth are still positive.
We hear the term “busy as a bee”. Bee’s are busy and productive at the same time. They have one driving goal. To seek out nectar and bring it back to the hive so honey can be made. They are driven with a sense of gentle urgency.
Be the bee! Develop a gentle sense of urgency in your workplace. Take control of your busyness and turn it into productive professional time.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
January 12th, 2008 - Posted in ABC's, emotional, occupational, productivity | | 0 Comments
(A)ttitude - Negative Attitudes Are The #1 Career Killer
What is the #1 warrior for or killer of your career and opportunity for advancement? Your attitude. Do you work with someone that when they walk in a room, their attitude walks in before them? Do you have a particular person in mind? Is it pleasant at the thought or make you wince? Let’s look at both the warrior and killer. Also known as the ying and yang., the postive and negative, and the good and bad.
A bad attitude is the #1 killer of your your career. Yes, I said career, not promotional opportunity.
People who are slowly killing their career for the long haul look like this.
- They are negative, uncooperative, argumentative, nasty, or gossipy.
- They have an air of superiority knowing the job and company better that even the founders.
- They specialize in chaos and reck havoc in meetings.
- They stymie projects and processes, dig their heels in and go on a personal temper tantrum.
- They try to take over all situations turning it into their personal mission for the sake of the company taking hostages along the way.
And the best part is that in their own mind, they are the #1 employee of the company and think they deserve to be promoted over others.
This is the type of attitude that everyone LOVES to talk about long after your have both left the company. Its a “war wound” that has been inflicted upon us long ago. When we are in the right situation, it’s a natural conversation piece.
Why is this a #1 killer of our career? Because it’s a small business world. Your attitude and reputation will follow you across the globe. You would be surprised at the number of people who globe trot companies only to find that some of the same people they use to work with 10 years ago are now apart of the current organization. For a personal example, please see my website video on “Business Etiquette” (www.sandralarkin.com).
So how can we insulate ourselves from the negative in our work environment to help establish a positive attitude? QTIP! Quit Taking It Personal.
When we stop taking it as a personal dig or insult here’s what it looks like when we walk in a room.
- We are positive, supportive, cooperative, and learn to evaluate the request or relationship based on the goals of the department, project or company.
- We seek out an involve others because we don’t know everything about the past company or project experience.
- We help gain willing cooperation from others in a team atmosphere because this is where most progress is made.
- We involve others and do not discount their advice. We realze that people have a variety of experiences from other organizations.
- We look to further projects and goals even if it’s not in our best interest but in the interest of the bigger picture.
- We guide people and support them in their efforts towards success.
This type of individual leaves a legacy of positive support and encouragement not only for the company but for its people. We are not leaving “war wounds” but a sense of value to each person we deal with. Fast forward 10 years working with former co-workers, what kind of comments will they make to the new management about our past attitude, reputation and behavior?
Stay on the high side of your career. Enlist the warrior to help make your professional life easier, productive, fun and profitable.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
January 10th, 2008 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, social | | 0 Comments
