(W)inning the Game of Stress
Stress. Who hasn’t felt it on a daily basis. There is so much going on in each of our lives it becomes overwhelming to think about adding more to our plate. Some of our lives are upside down and spinning out of control. “The Inner Game of Stress” (W. Timothy Gallwey, Edwards S. Hanzelik, M.D. and John Horton, M.D.) explains that chronic stress ” …is caused largely by the way people perceived the events and circumstances of their lives-and not the realities themselves.” Perception is reality. Change the perception and change your stress level.
The big misnomer is that stress happens to us and not something we cannot control. It’s the way in which we internalize and handle events and activities that causing stressful feelings. Do you have control over stress to some degree? Absolutely, 100 %, yes.
Honestly ask yourself these questions to gain an understanding on where you can begin to decrease your stress levels.
- What outcomes or people am I trying to control for my own personal gain or benefit?
- What is controlling me that I could or should be saying “no” to? Will people still “like” me? Yes!
- What are unproductive thoughts of situations, events or “what if’s” that probably won’t come true?
- What are external conflicts that I play over and over in my head or continue to tell others about which revives these feelings?
- What am I yearning for that is causing me to stall my future?
- In my personal circle, who am I associating with that is devaluating me and my future?
- What types of time management tools am I utlitizing to protect myself against time stealers?
- Do I have goals for the future and have a way to reach out to others in the community to help me?
Once we have clarity around these questions we can begin to control our perception of the external factors of our lives. We begin to establish new thought patterns and ways to set boundaries around our priorities in a way which still maintains positive relationships. We look for tools that can help us maintain control.
The only person we have control over is ourselves and what situations we allow ourselves to be in. In addition, we control our attitude and feelings towards others as well as thoughts of the future. Make your perception a positive move towards your priorities. You’ll feel more in control and perceive events and people with less stress. I highly recommend ….
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
June 11th, 2010 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, habits, health, stress, workplace wellness | | 0 Comments
(T)ime Management Tips To Live By
If your like me, you’ve got more than one think going on at any given moment. Between family, friends, work, blogging, Twittering, authoring or just plain doing nothing, it takes alot of energy to accomplish the simple task and try to be “all you can be” in the process. I’ve developed a list of Time Management Tips To Live By as a way to center myself and get things done. Consistently applied they will help you get your mind in the right direction to work more effectively. We all have days that these tips won’t work. No worry. Try your best and don’t beat yourself up. Tomorrows another day!
- Limit your moments of exasperation over a task.
- When we take on a new project be it at work or just cleaning the closet it may seem ‘SO BIGGGGG” that we quit before we start. Realize that it took you awhile to get to this point so it will take the same amount of time to make it better. Huffing, puffing and complaining won’t make the time any shorter. Take a deep breath and dig in one small piece at a time.
- Approach a task like you’re going on vacation.
- Did you ever notice that when you’re going on vacation that you seem to get alot done, with more clarity, quicker? This happens to me and I feel terrific when I walk out the door. Try this tip and see how much more you can get done in less time while saying “no” to things that truly don’t matter.
- 15 minutes then “I’m out of here” rule.
- Set a timer (not kidding) for 15 minutes. What can you get done within that time period? What you should find is that #1 things don’t really take as long as I make them up in my mind #2 I’ve achieved SUCCESS because I got done things that have been on my plate for sometime. The timer rule can apply to 30 minutes or even an hour. It centers our priority and sets a limit so we won’t get distracted.
- Have one calendar or at least two side by side.
- I can’t tell you how many times I overbooked myself only then to have to choose and disappoint someone. Plus, I’ve lost alot of credibility by canceling. Too many calendars leave too much room for error and results in alot of apologizes. Not cool! One calendar is best. Two at the most.
- Spend 15 minutes the night before ANYTHING to get it ready.
- I wake up with good intentions and then the cat throws up (multiple times), my dogs won’t come back in the house or I hate what I’m wearing so I change clothes three or four times. If I would have set myself up for success the night before by spending 15 minutes instead of watching TV, I would be less frustrated, not in a hurry and calmer walking out the door. Murphy’s Law is always working. It may be your door that Murphy visits next. Be prepared.
- Watch the distractions.
- Believe it or not, we have control over distractions. We can choose a different time of day to perform an activity or block out time on our personal or professional calendars. If TV is a distraction, don’t be near the room where others are watching. If the phone is a distraction, only answer necessary calls. The more we control distractions, the more empowered we feel to take back our time and focus on our priorities.
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
www.sandralarkin.com
www.healthyprofitsbook.com
All rights reserved. Content © 2009 Sandra Larkin Wellness Strategies, LLC
September 14th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, habits, intellectual, productivity, time management | | 0 Comments
(R)einvest in YOU!
If you don’t think you have the time to exercise, read, take a walk, attend classes, be social or breath, you probably don’t. Our perception is our reality. In other words, what we perceive is real to us. For example, if you think your right when your in an argument, you are because that’s your perception. It’s pretty hard for someone to change your point of view. And when they try, look out!
This is a frustrating place as we feel like we’re in a rut, running in circles, unproductive and lacking a positive attitude. It feels like we’re defeated before our feet hit the floor each morning. We should strive to change what we can and that starts with our perception.
So how do we change our perception of lack to gain. We need to look at what we do as a reinvestment in ourselves. We can change ….
- I don’t have time to look for another job … to … I have at least 15 minutes per day to check out job sites.
- I’m so busy, I can’t look for healthy receipies … to …. I can plan out my meals on the weekend for the coming week.
- I can’t exercise because I work long hours …. to … I can walk at lunch with a buddy or join a local fitness center for lunch time exercise.
- I can’t read the newspaper each night …. to … I can scan the newspaper for interest stories or positive news <or> listen to 15 minutes of CNN or MSNBC.
- I don’t have time to take self-help classess … to … I can borrow self help books on CD from the library and listen to them on the way to and from work, running errands, etc.
- I can’ seem to keep my house organized …. to … I can spend 15 minutes each day to housework or organizing a drawer, folding laundry or going through a stack of papers.
Reinvesting in ourselves creates confidence, empowerment, focus, productivity and just plain feels good. We don’t have to make a huge public declaration that “OK, I’m going to make time for myself so things have to change!”. We just do it slowly and deliberatly. Others will notice.
This is not a race to see who can be different in the next six months. This is your personal journey to reinvestment. This is a reinvestment in yourself, your time, your lifestyle, your dreams and your impacts on life.
Be healthy and fabulous
Sandra Larkin, CWPM
Certified Wellness Program Manager
www.sandralarkin.com
www.healthyprofitsbook.com
All rights reserved. Contents ©2009 Sandra Larkin Wellness Strategies, LLC
August 21st, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, habits, intellectual | | 0 Comments
(Q)uit Living With Two Thieves
Have you been living with two thieves? How can that be? I don’t see or hear them but they plague us day after day. The two thieves are Regret and Worry. Regretting decisions from our past that we think may have turned out better. Worrying that an unknown consequence awaits us in the present or future.
We need to lasso these thieves by answering this question “Will we choose to live in yesterday or today?” It’s a deliberate decision not to let past experiences or uncontrollable situations steal our joy or our future. When we begin to emotionally multi task we live in the past and disregard that which is right in front of us (today) and that which we can control (future). When we emotionally multi task we tend to live in the past, present and future all at the same time. We need to live in the moment, right now, while not regretting the past and not worrying about the future.
Think of this …We live in the best time in history with our advanced technology in medicine and personal conveniences. Our society is educationally focused on health and well being. We live in a free nation with liberty and personal rights. Each one of us has health to some degree. Even if we lose everything, someone somewhere loves us and will help us get back on our feet.
A Quick Cheat Sheet
- Don’t worry about yesterday live for today.
- Emotional multi tasking lives for the future.
- Don’t let others steal your joy.
- We always think we have tomorrow. Do we?
- You can always make more money but cannot buy back time.
- Life is not a dress rehearsal. We don’t get another performance.
August 12th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, emotional, habits, intellectual, occupational | | 0 Comments
(O)pportunities: Destination Unknown
Each of us carries our own personal definition of opportunity based on past experience. To some, the definition may be centered on growth while others may view opportunity as a means of fear and resistance to change.
August 11th, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, Uncategorized, attitude, change, emotional, habits | | 2 Comments
(M)otivation: Cure or Curse
All of us have either set a goal or seen a speaker that has inspired us to change behavior or reach new levels. We begin the new journey with positive thoughts and actions along with a vision of what it will look like on the other end. Some of us get stimulated to work through the challenges. While others defuse or deflate when life places a boulder in our road to success.
Motivation can be a cure if we are willing to layout a plan and commit to win regardless of what it takes to reap the rewards. For example, a marathon runner doesn’t show up on race day and begin the 26.2 mile run. They prepare for at least six months with a consistent plan of action. During that time, there are challenges in the form of weather, potential injury, tiredness, and time constraints. By placing their foot on the track at race day, they’ve already reached the finish line due to their motivation to stick it out and see it through.
On the other hand, motivation can be a curse if we have set high expectations with an inappropriate time frame. For example, we start training for the marathon two months prior to race day. We also risk lowering our self esteem and the “stick to it” glue to reach lofty goals and self transformation.
Use motivation as a tool to help stay the course realizing there is no magic pill for success. Motivation is ultimately INTERNAL, meaning we are the drivers for success. Motivation that’s EXTERNAL, as in other peoples needs and wishes, has a high probability for failure. Choose your correct motivation and reach for the stars.
August 3rd, 2009 - Posted in ABC's, attitude, emotional, habits, intellectual, performance, productivity | | 0 Comments
(H)abits - The Good, the Bad and the Better
Did you ever say or hear someone say “Hey, that’s just a habit I have.” Normally this is an excuse for our behavior that someone noticed and pitched a hissy fit. Otherwise, we probably would have gotten away with it because it goes un-noticed by us. Each of us determines our own habits. Yet other people use their own measuring stick to “call us out”.
If we look at it from the flip side, habits can also be positive and can dramatically impact our health and well being. They also affect how other people see us which leads them into a our healthy behaviors.
For example,
- brushing and flossing our teeth before we go to bed
- eating 5 fruits and vegetables a day
- taking vitamins
- deliberately taking time to relax and/or meditate
- going to church
- cleaning up our desk at the end of the day
- planning a to-do list
- scheduling preventive screening appointments
- reading one book per month
- returning phone calls and answering emails
- exercising at least 3 times per week
- being on time
- going to the dentist twice a year
- drinking 6-8 glasses of water per day
- being positive and friendly
- balancing our checkbook
- paying our bills on time
- journaling
- taking a nap on the weekend
- getting to bed around the same time each night
If we incorporate one good habit each month, we would have changed 12 behaviors towards health and wellness in one year.
Action Plan
- Make a list of less than desirable habits and another list of habits you would like to adopt over the next 12 months. Use the list above to jog your memory.
- Rank the healthy habits in order.
- From your top 5 new habits, which ones can you move on quickly and which require other people, resources or sometimes money.
- Begin and chart your progress on a blank calendar.
- At the end of the first month, look at your progress and see how far you reached.
- Begin another healthy habit at month two.
The word “habit” gets a bad rap. When we combine the habit with something that is good FOR us then we are on the road to being
- healthy physically, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and occupationally
- a mentor and role model for others to start and succeed at change
- positive and energetic
- someone that everyone WANTS to be around
Be healthy and fabulous!
Sandra
September 4th, 2008 - Posted in ABC's, change, habits, health, intellectual, occupational, physical | | 0 Comments
